The gradual entry into the most reflective day in our history starts with the Fast of the 17th of Tammuz and continues for the following three weeks. During this time period, we slowly add to our mourning and refrain from more and more pleasures until we reach Tisha B’Av itself.
What do we do differently during the three weeks?
From the night prior to the fast of Shivah Asar B’Tammuz, and throughout the entire three-week period, we do not get married, listen to music, dance, or recite shehehianu on new clothes or new fruits. Potentially dangerous activities should also be avoided.
Reciting Tikkun Hatsot is also deeply powerful during this time. While it is normally said at midnight, during these three weeks it is also recited at midday.
Can I buy new clothes during the three weeks?
Purchasing new clothes is allowed from the start of the three-week period until Rosh Hodesh Av (the start of the nine days). However, as mentioned, we do not recite shehehianu. Therefore, clothes that require a shehehianu should not be worn for the first time until after Tisha B’Av.[i]
As we enter Rosh Hodesh Av, we step up our cognizance of mourning the Bet Hamikdash. During this time, we refrain from numerous things that bring a person joy. It is also a time of bad ‘mazal’ and therefore if one has a court case with a non-Jew, he should try to push it off.
Can I buy new things during the nine days?
During the nine-day period starting from Rosh Hodesh Av, we refrain from significant purchases that bring a person joy, for example, expensive purchases like furniture, jewelry, or items for a wedding. However, if a household appliance such as a dryer breaks, and it is necessary to buy a new one, then it would be permitted.[ii] Small purchases like basic household items would always be permitted.
Can I sew during the nine days?
One may not sew or tailor new clothing during the nine days. However, if a garment is ripped, it may be repaired.[iii]
Can I paint my house?
Painting or any other renovations are not permitted during the nine days. Similarly, planting flowers, bushes, etc. are also not permitted. If one already hired a non-Jewish contractor, a Rabbi should be consulted.
Until when can we eat meat and drink wine?
Although the other restrictions of the nine days begin on Rosh Hodesh, one can still eat meat or drink wine in honor of Rosh Hodesh until sunset. However, if one prayed Arbit early, he can no longer eat meat even if it is not yet sunset.[iv]
Can I eat a “meat” soup if I’m not eating the actual chicken or meat?
One cannot eat food cooked together with meat, such as eating the vegetables or broth of a soup, even if they are not eating the actual meat. However, one can use meat pots and pans to cook their food.
Wine can be used in cooking if it is one of many ingredients and does not give a noticeable taste. Wine vinegar may always be used as it is no longer considered wine.
Can I feed my kids chicken and meat during the nine days?
There is more room to be lenient with feeding a young child meat or chicken, especially if it is necessary for them.[v] According to all, on Erev Shabbat in the afternoon, one can feed kids the meat or chicken that was prepared for Shabbat.[vi]
Can I taste meat food on Erev Shabbat?
For someone cooking for Shabbat, tasting and even swallowing the food is permitted in order to evaluate it.[vii]
Until when can I shave or get a haircut?
Getting a haircut or shaving is permitted during the nine days but not during the week of Tisha B’av. Therefore, on Erev Shabbat one can still get a haircut or shave. During the week of Tisha B’av even young children should not get haircuts.[viii]
The week of Tisha B’Av (referred to in halacha as “Shavua She’hal Bo”), brings another level of mourning as we refrain from wearing freshly laundered clothes, bathing and showering with hot/warm water, and getting haircuts or shaving.
How do I prepare clothes for the week of Tisha B’av?
One should prepare clothes from the week before by wearing each article of clothing for enough time that it is no longer feels freshly laundered. Most allow wearing socks, undergarments, etc. even if they are freshly laundered and do not require preparing them from the week before.
In addition to wearing freshly laundered clothes, doing laundry is prohibited even for after Tisha B’av. This applies even to children’s clothes, and therefore all laundry should be done from the week before. However, for young children that are always getting their clothes dirty, one can do laundry if it is necessary.
May I change my clothes on Shabbat to wear them on Tisha B’Av?
One may not put on clothes for this specific purpose on Shabbat, as this would be preparing for a weekday, which is not permitted. Only if it is not noticeable that the clothes are being worn for this purpose, then it is permitted. For example, one may change into a new pair of clothes after taking a nap, even though he normally puts back on the same clothes, provided that what he is wearing is befitting to be worn on Shabbat.
On the eve of Tisha B’Av we intensify our seriousness as we enter into the actual day of mourning. The Seudah Hamafesket is the point where we segue into the Fast as we are yet eating, however sitting on the floor and creating the mood of Tisha B’Av.
What do we eat for the Se’udah Hamafseket?
The Se’udat Hamafseket is the last meal prior to the fast. It should consist of the bare minimum; essentially just bread and water. The custom is to also eat something round; either an egg or lentils, as these are things eaten by mourners since they represent the circle/cycle of life. It is important not to eat a big meal too late in the day so that one will be at least a little hungry for the Se’udat Hamafseket, and it can actually be considered a meal.[ix]
Are a rice and lentils considered one or two foods?
It is forbidden to eat more than one cooked food at the Se’udat Hamafseket, so as to demonstrate our mourning by restricting what we eat. Even one type of food which is prepared in two different ways, is not allowed (e.g. a hard-boiled egg and a soft-boiled egg). However, if the two foods are normally cooked together in one pot and eaten together as one dish (such as rice and lentils), then it can be served at the Se’udat Hamafseket as it is considered one food.
How do we sit at the Se’udah Hamafseket?
The custom is to sit on the floor. Everyone should sit separate from each other with a solemn attitude, mourning the Bet Hamikdash. If three adult men are present, they should sit in separate corners of the room, to avoid the requirement to do zimun.[x]
How high can my chair be?
By the Se’udat Hamafseket, one should sit on the floor (or anything less than a tefah high - 3 to 3.2 in.). An elderly person or a pregnant woman who finds this too difficult, can sit on a cushion or stool that is lower than 3 tefahim high (9 to 9.6 inches).[xi] In regard to Tisha B’Av itself, it is permitted for everyone to sit on a low cushion or pillow, and many also permit a stool of lower than three tefahim.[xii]
When sitting on the floor, one should still stand for a parent, rabbi, or elderly person.[xiii]
Can I drink tea or coffee by the Se’udat Hamafseket?
Tea and coffee are not considered “cooked foods,” and are therefore halachically permitted. However, it is praiseworthy to be stringent and refrain from extra enjoyment at the time that we start mourning the Bet Hamikdash.[xiv]
Can I still eat after Birkat Hamazon before the fast starts?
According to some, it is preferable to have in mind to not accept the fast before reciting Birkat Hamazon. If one did not, he can still eat or drink, even if he planned on accepting the fast. However, if one verbalized his acceptance of the fast, then he cannot eat or drink and all the other restrictions of the fast apply at that time.[xv]
After slowly increasing our mourning over the past three weeks, we finally reach the pinnacle on Tisha B’Av. On this day, there is: 1) No eating or drinking; 2) No washing; 3) No applying creams or oils to one’s skin; 4) No leather shoes; 5) No marital relations. We also sit on the floor, not on regular chairs, similar to mourners.
When does the fast start?
The fast begins at sunset (approximately 8:19 in the NY/NJ area). At this point all the laws of Tisha B’av take effect, including sitting on the floor. One should stop eating a few minutes before sunset and make sure there are no food particles are left in his mouth.[xvi]
May I clean the house?
One should not sweep, wash the floors, wash dishes, or engage in any extended clean-up on Tisha B’Av until after midday, hatsot, on Thursday (approximately 1:03 PM in the NY/NJ area). Dirty dishes, however, may be placed in the dishwasher and turned on. If leaving them in the sink will cause the house to smell or attract flies, one may wash them even by hand (and it is not necessary to wear gloves).[xvii]
Can I brush my teeth?
Tisha B’Av is more stringent than regular fasts, and it is not permitted to rinse out one’s mouth or brush teeth. If one is very uncomfortable or has bad breath, he can use mouthwash (without rinsing with water afterward), but he should tilt his head downward to avoid swallowing it.[xviii]
Can I take medicine for a headache?
If one has a headache, he may swallow a pill without water, provided that it does not have a flavored coating. Other medications are also permitted; however, vitamins and health items should not be taken. If one is unable to swallow the pill without water, a Rabbi should be consulted.[xix]
How do I wash my hands?
In the morning, one should wash his fingers up to the third knuckle three times. One who has the custom during the year to wash their hands three times after entering a restroom may do so, but only up to the knuckles.[xx]
One who is sick and washing for bread should wash his hands like he does throughout the year – up to the wrist. Similarly, the Kohanim should also wash up to the wrist, but they should only wash each hand one time. When a Levi washes his hands prior to washing the Kohanim’s hands, he can only wash up to the knuckles.[xxi]
My hands got dirty, can I wash them?
Any washing for cleanliness (such as for unclean hands or even to remove gunk around the eye in the morning) is permitted. However, only the dirty area may be washed, and not the rest of the hand. If one touches his shoe, only the part of the hand that touched the shoe should be washed. An exception is when someone touches a covered part of their body, requiring washing before reciting a beracha or praying; in this case, the hand should be washed up to the knuckles.[xxii]
Is it permitted to wash my hands with soap?
Applying creams, oils, etc., is only prohibited if done for pleasure or enjoyment. However, when done for cleanliness, such as if one’s hands are dirty and they need soap to clean them, it is permitted. It is also permitted to use Purell to disinfect if necessary.[xxiii]
Can I use deodorant?
Deodorant (even with a good smell) may be used, as it is for cleanliness and not for pleasure.[xxiv]
What if only part of the shoe is leather?
Shoes with even a leather sole or leather top may not be worn. However, if there is a small strip of leather intended for decorative purposes only, it may be worn. Similarly, a pair of flip-flops that has only a thin strap to hold the foot in place and does not protect the foot is also permitted.[xxv]
What if I don’t have any non-leather shoes?
If one is worried that he will get hurt or dirty, then he may wear leather footwear outside if he has no other option. For example, if it is pouring rain or muddy, one may wear appropriate shoes or boots outdoors to remain dry and clean. However, they should be removed immediately when entering the house, shul, or car.[xxvi]
Can children wear leather shoes?
Being that young children generally have a non-leather option, they should not wear leather shoes.[xxvii]
Can I read Tehillim?
On Tisha B’Av, the regular study of Torah is not permitted, as Torah brings a person joy. However, one should study the Gemarot and Midrashim that discuss the destruction of the Bet Hamikdash. One may also study the laws of Tisha B’Av or the laws of avelut. It is also permitted to study Sefarim that encourage a person to reflect on his sins and do teshuva.
Reading Tehillim is also like studying Torah, and should not be done unless one is praying for something specific, such as a sick person. Therefore, one who is unable to study the parts of Torah permitted on Tisha B’Av and wants to read his set amount of Tehillim should read the Tehillim as prayer for a sick person or for another need.[xxviii]
Can I wish someone good morning?
Due to the somber mood of the day, one should not greet their friend with common greetings such as ‘hello’, ‘good morning’, ‘how are you?’, and the like. If one was greeted by somebody who is unaware of this Halacha, he should respond in a soft and serious tone.[xxix]
What type of work is prohibited on Tisha B’Av?
One may not conduct any form of business, or buy/sell anything, including online purchases. (If there is potential for a loss, or if it is a rare opportunity, a Rabbi should be consulted). Even before hatsot, it is permitted to buy food that will be needed for after the fast.[xxx]
Can one smell besamim?
One should not smell besamim on Tisha B’Av.[xxxi] In order to recite the required 100 berachot, one should listen to the berachot on keriat HaTorah and have in mind to fulfill his obligation with that.[xxxii]
What else should we do or not do?
One should not engage in fun activities or socialize, as the mood of the day should be one of mourning and solitude, to enable us to reflect on how we can rebuild the Bet Hamikdash. One should even refrain from sitting with a child on his lap for no reason, so he won’t end up
[i] משנ"ב סי' תקנ"א ס"ק מ"ה
[ii] עי' חזו"ע עמ' קס"ז, ותורת המועדים עמ' קמ"ב
[iii] חזו"ע עמ' ר"ז.
[iv] כה"ח סי' תקנ"א ס"ק קכ"ב.
[v] עי' חזו"ע עמ' ק"צ.
[vi] עי' בכה"ח שם ס"ק קנ"ה. וע"ע בשו"ת אגרות משה ח"ד סי' כ"א.
[vii] חזו"ע עמ' קע"ה.
[viii] כה"ח ס"ק ע"ח, חזו"ע עמ' רכ"ד.
[ix] שו"ע סי' תקנ"ב סעי' ה', ו', ט'. משנ"ב שם סק"כ.
[x] כף החיים שם ס"ק מ"ד.
[xi] שו"ע שם סעי' ז'. כה"ח ס"ק ל"ח, מ'. חזו"ע עמ' רע"ג. נר ציון עמ' רפ"ח.
[xii] עי' משנ"ב סי' תקנ"ב ס"ק י"ז, וסי' תקנ"ט ס"ק י"א. שיעורי הלכה עמ' תקי"ט.
[xiii] חזו"ע עמ' של"ב.
[xiv] חזו"ע עמ' רס"ח.
[xv] שו"ע סי' תקנ"ג סעי' א'. וכה"ח שם. חזו"ע עמ' ער"ה.
[xvi] שו"ע שם סעי' ב'.
[xvii] עי' באור לציון פכ"ט אות י"ד, ובקובץ הלכות עמ' רכ"ח. ומש"כ שאי"צ ללבוש כפפות, עי' בחזו"ע עמ' רצ"ד, ובקובץ הלכות עמ' ר"כ.
[xviii] תורת המועדים סי' א' סעי' י"א. קובץ הלכות עמ' רכ"ו.
[xix] שושנת ישראל עמ' קכ"ב.
[xx] שו"ע סי' תקנ"ד סעי' י'.
[xxi] חזו"ע עמ' ר"צ- רצ"א.
[xxii] שו"ע שם סעי' ט', י"א. משנ"ב סי' תרי"ג ס"ק ו'.
[xxiii] שו"ע שם סעי' ט"ו.
[xxiv] חזו"ע עמ' רצ"ה.
[xxv] חזו"ע עמ' ש"א. קובץ הלכות עמ' רכ"ד.
[xxvi] עי' שו"ע סי' תקנ"ד סעי' י"ז. כה"ח ס"ק ע"ט.
[xxvii] עי' חזו"ע עמ' ש"א, ושיעורי הלכה עמ' תקי"א.
[xxviii] חזו"ע עמ' שי"א, שט"ז.
[xxix] שו"ע שם סעי' כ'.
[xxx] שו"ע שם סעי' כ"ב – כ"ג. כה"ח ס"ק ק"ו. חזו"ע עמ' שכ"ב.
[xxxi] כף החיים סי' תקנ"ו סק"ד. חזו"ע עמ' של"ט.
[xxxii] בן איש חי פרשת בלק הל' א'.